Periodic Table of Geek Awesomeness

From Geekologie -- the Periodic Table of Awesoments (as seen by geeks, of which I do claim some allegiance):
(Click on the link above for the full-sized version...and enjoy!)

You'll note that pretty much everything that is great is on the table, with spaces of course for the elements that are yet to be (or be recognized!).

Yours in geekdom,

Lori

You Can Shave the Baby

I wish I could un-see this:

(Source)

Sorry to do that to you.

Lori

Zombies in Austen?

I can't tell if this is a gag, or a real book....so it's here, instead of on my book blog...

From Chronicle Books, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies:

As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead.

Uh...Okay.

I feel gullible tonight. Maybe I should just go to bed. This will all make sense in the morning.

Right?

Lori

"I'm a Liver, not a Fighter"

Found this absurdity over at Rain's other blog Teenie Manolo, in a post entitled Ovaries of Danger.

Follow the links, to find this adorable little guy:
What every little kid needs, a stuffed liver to play with.

Unfortunately, the Uterus is not so lucky:

The irony of course is that probably many women would love to have their uteruses (? uteri!) recalled...while others would love to have one to play with.

But kids? Who'd have thought internal organ plush dolls be a desirable toy?

Ah well. I've had deeper thoughts on a Sunday morning before, that's for sure!

Lori

Tempus fugit...or shreds?

The Chrono-Shredder (discover via this blog) a very cool clock...if a bit of a fire hazard:

Designer Susan Hertrich describes her clock:

The Chrono-Shredder is a device that reminds us of the preciousness of our lifetime. It represents the passing of time by shredding the days of the year – printed on a paper roll – at a slow constant rate. To shred one day takes 24 hours. There is no "off"-button. As the seconds pass by, the tattered remains of the past pile up under the device…

Imagine waking up in the morning with an enormous pile of shreddies (as my hubby calls them) on the floor...would you, as the designer asks, start counting the finite hours of your day like calories?

Lori

A bit late, but the absurd is eternal

A belated bit of Christmas cheer via microwaves:

Happy Christmas from AKQA

What inspires people to spend so much time on silly projects like this?

Lori

Linguistics -- Funny Stuff

So many English gags depend on the difficulty speakers of other languages have with our language. Part of that is that so many people, from so many countries, study English -- so we have a lot of different accents to make fun of. (But trust me, English speakers are not alone -- every language is made a butt of some joke, somewhere.)

The fact that speakers of many Asian languages cannot wrap their lips around the English liquids /r/ and /l/ is probably the most demonized of any pronunciation problem. I did my BA in Linguistics and taught English as a Second Language for 12 years, 3 of those in Korea, so pronunciation is one of my interests.

Simply put, English /r/ and /l/ are two completely different phonemes -- two distinct sounds. In languages like Korean, what we hear as /r/ and /l/ are allophones of the same phoneme -- essentially the same sound, used in slightly different ways. To a Korean ear, 'pirate' and 'pilot' are the exact same word. Korean has its own complexities, and if more non-native speakers learned it, there would be (and probably are) loads of gags about how we pronounce their language. Hell, they have 3 completely different phonemes for where we would have the /p/ and /b/. [Fascinating stuff.]

All of that said, one of the funniest (and poignant) elements in the movie Team America: World Police (2004) is the characterization of Kim Jong Il of North Korea, especially his song, "I'm So Ronery":



I saw the movie for the first time this week, and had to watch it again last night 'cause it was haunting me a bit.

Imagine my surprise when this morning in my inb0x is a video of a Korean toddler singing "Hey Jude":



So cute, my teeth are melting.

Have a pun day! (Koreans also do not have the phonemes /f/ and /v/, they use sounds similar to our /p/ and /b/ instead.)

Lori

What will 2009 bring?

For me, it's bringing a job shift in 4 weeks. Literally packing up my stuff, and shifting to a different work location -- 4 blocks away and a level of government down. Talk about mixed feelings.

But 2009 is also a year of intentions I have set for myself. Would you like to hear them?

• I will be producing and directing a play. I've decided that I just have to create my own opportunities to direct in this town. (More on that later, as it unfolds.)

• I am going to get more physically active -- just 'cause it is going to happen. Raincoaster is attempting to share her exercise video fetish with me, by giving me a wealth of DVD workout fromage: Cardio Burlesque, Tahitian Cardio, and Belly Dance with Veils, to name just a few. I also intend on getting into snowshoeing, and back into X-country skiing.

• I'd like to go camping this summer. We totally missed out this last year, because Metro misunderstood "I don't like setting up in the dark and dining on lukewarm canned stew heated over a tiny burner, shivering" to mean "I don't want to camp ever" so he proceded to fill his weekends with plays, poker and sailing. What this intention really says is that I intend on filling as many weekends this year with activities my husband and I do together.

• Speaking of activities I'd like to do more of...I want to do more roadtrips, preferably with the hubby. I found this fabulous article on How to Road Trip that includes invaluable rules such as "The driver controls the music" and "No bogarting the Twizzlers"! Reading this just makes me want to go!
  

Here's a piece of open road from one of our recent day trips:


So what are your intentions for 2009?

Share with us, we'd love to know!

Lori

Proper Citations

Always important, especially on the Internet. (Or is it more, people should be just damn careful what they believe on the 'net!)

Found a good source of alternative source citing. Here's a sample:

Tattoos

When citing tattoos or other body art/text:

1. List the part of the body on which the tattoo was seen.
2. Name the person sporting the tattoo (if known).
3. Identify the location where tattoo was observed (if known).
4. List the date the tattoo was observed (if known).

Example: "This End Up." [Left Buttock, Unidentified Male Dancer; The Loading Zone Bar, Halsted Street; Chicago, Il: January, 31 1998?]

Have I ever told you the story of my one great regret?

I was drinking with the boyfriend-of-the-time in a bar and a couple of Australian sailors in Seoul, South Korea. One of the sailors, full biker beard and a prodigious ability to drink, started showing me his tatts.

Geishas on his shins...Some word on the inside of his lower lip....The usual stuff on the arms.

He then dropped trou and showed me the animals (?) on his butt cheeks.

And the tattoo on the head of his penis.

My regret?

To this day, I can't finish the story. I can't tell you what the image was, 'cause I was a little, uh, taken aback.

What goes through a guy's mind to get a tattoo there? Anyone got any insight?

Cheers,

Lori

Uh...Merry Christmas?!

Found this delightful holiday fun over at the Sneeze.

That alone should warn you.

What? Don't know the Sneeze? He's a delightfully twisted, intermittent blogger with a long-suffering wife, a precocious child, and a younger Lil' Sneeze who, so far, is not quite demonstrating much of any father-inherited oddness. (Do not read his Steve, Don't Eat It! series while drinking coffee, as you will laugh it out your nose!)

Anyway, here's a holiday video from a friend of his, Tom:



Oh, Santa!

Lori

What's Your Story?

I ask the question when I meet people...usually when I'm tired of the more normal "So, what do you do?"

Gads. I hate that question.

But, guilty as charged. I will ask it at networking functions, etc., mostly because I want to know. I would prefer to ask "So, where do you fit in the Space/Time Continuum?" but that nets me weird looks.

The time comes though, when I feel like daring someone to really tell me something interesting. So, I'll ask "What's your story?"

Most people just take it as a new way of answering the what-do-you-do question. They look a bit confused, then they tell me they work here, do that, what-have-you.

Not this guy. UncleWeed was introduced to me by Raincoaster at a DTES event. I had no connections at this thing, so I was not in networking mode. I wanted amusement, but wasn't expecting it here.

Until I asked UncleWeed the question. I suddenly, and for the first time since I started asking the question 10+ years ago, got a story. And for your enjoyment, you too can listen to the story on his latest podcast: the Taos Hi-Jacking Incident. (If you're feeling impatient, jump to around 8 min 30 sec for his reaction to my question, the story truly starts at around 15 min 30 sec.)

He understates how excited I was at the gift of the story...the unexpected, fantastic glory of being taken literally. Seriously though, doesn't everyone have at least one great story?? What's yours?


Happy Holidays,

Lori

Getting into the Season, finally.

But I sure ain't doing this to my cats:


more animals

What on earth are people thinking?

Do anything like that to my female cat and you'd be pulling back a bleeding stump!

Anyhoo...back to the Season of Lights, of Carols, of Turkey, of Friends and of Family. No matter what it was, and what it has become, I'm realizing that to survive it, I need to embrace what it is for me.

And my hubby put up Christmas lights on the outside of the house yesterday, while I was at work. Sweet!

Enjoy the days you get off, the slower-than-normal time if you're at work, and resist the third helping of turkey. Remember, you'll be eating those leftovers for days!

Lori

Here's why I love the Blues:

Ray Charles, Jerry Lee Lewis and Fats Domino on stage at the same time...3 pianos, and a crew of backup musicians probably wetting themselves in excitement:

Ray Charles, Jerry Lee Lewis
Uploaded by Hanvak

I'd use up a magic wish to have been at this club with a beer in my hand....would anyone join me?

Lori

The Geek Test

I'm 24.42998% a Geek -- a Total Geek according to the Geek Test.

And I'm probably scoring higher because I think this is cool enough to blog about.

Shoot me now.

In the meantime, have a listen to the Geek Wants Out by Ernie Cline.

Lori

Irreverent bastard, but great LOLcat therapy

There I was, happily, blithely even, stumbling the Internet, when I paused on a blog post entitled:

Squirrels that try to be productive members of society can suck it

This surprised me, to say the least*. (*Interesting how that little phrase actually adds words to your sentence...)

I scrolled down a bit...

Platypus: the ultimate buzz kill

Mystified, I scrolled further:

Moose are the biggest dorks ever

I burst out laughing, scrolled back up to see what the hell I'd landed on...and discovered a blog that, yes, will receive a full 4 links from me in this one post:

Please visit Fuck you, Penguin, the blog where cute animals are told 'what's what'.

Lori

Enough already!!

The most anticipated geek movie of all time...and its release date has been set back again! Over at his blog, author Ernie Cline updates us on the new date: February 6, 2009. It was supposed to open this weekend.

Darn.

Can I wait? Guess I'll have to.

Lori

Etymologist's View of the World

The linguistic geek in me really likes these maps:

The map makers researched global place names to find their origins, and then translated them to English.

I've always wanted to visit Mango Leaves on the Isle of Happiness myself.

Lori

Christmas Shopping??

Here's a catalogue for you all: The Original Illustrated Catalog of ACME Products.

Who on your shopping list could use some Earthquake Pills?

Not that the following cartoon has anything to do with ACME...it's just one of my favourite Bugs Bunny cartoons:



Enjoy!

Lori

Donkeys

Do a Google search of the word "donkey" and some delightful stuff comes up:

The Donkey Sanctuary of Canada (who knew?)

Guidelines for Using Donkeys as Guard Animals with Sheep (provided by the Gov't of Ontario of all places)

Lately, I've been hearing the word a lot, as my man Metro is playing poker and is picking up the jargon. A donkey is a specific type of player: a bad one.

Today, a friend of a friend, visiting from out of town, started telling me a story out of the blue...about how, when she was a young girl, she saw the most amazing thing: Donkey Baseball. A fundraiser in her little town. All these years later, this memory has stayed with her, vividly.

I smiled to myself, went to my friend's computer and hit Youtube. Two seconds later I called her over to see this:



I love the Internet.

Lori

UK vs US: What's funny?

I could research definitions of comedy and funny to write an essay on the topic...and still no one would agree with me.

As individuals, we all know what we like. Personally, I have a taste for the more complex British comedies. where funny stuff happens while life continues on, in all its wonderful complexities.

The Full Monty (1997) (warning: couldn't find the trailer, so the clip below is the sports-movie-style fabulous SPOILER ending -- go rent the movie if you haven't seen it, don't ruin it for yourself!!)



Kinky Boots (2005)



Death at a Funeral (2007)



Now, according to my favourite movie news source (I let Gordon McAlpin sift through the movie geek news for me! And I follow his great webcomic Multiplex), Hollywood is doing a re-make of Death at a Funeral!! (Did you see the date on that film? A year old.)

Me (and all sane movie geeks): "What?! Was it not funny enough for you? Or could you not understand the foreign accent?"

"Oh, no. None of that. We just want to make it Chris Rock funny. All movies are better when we Americanize 'em."

Gads.

Lori