The Vegas version of 'Free'

I've traveled all over the world, but have never been to Las Vegas...until now.

It's simple. I do not like traveling to locations (1) with lots of tourists, nor (2) where everyone else goes. Las Vegas was on my 'no go' list for both those obvious reasons. People in my life who I'd believed had never been out of the province were saying to me, "Oh Vegas? I love Vegas! Check out the free show at TI!" [C'mon! We all have our own pretensions.]

One word I noticed a lot of was 'Free'. Sites give tips on the free stuff to do in Vegas...and at first blush, things are free. Free drinks at slot machines. Free shows. Free slot play at casinos. Shall we deconstruct?

• Sit at a slot machine and pump money in, esp. when the cocktail waitress walks by, and she'll bring you a drink. Tip her, and she'll be faster next time. Hmm...that sounds like you're paying for something. I prefer the honesty of $1 beer at the Sahara bar.
• Enjoy the free shows in the casinos, and all you have to pay for is drinks. We saw Dian Diaz and her hot 7-piece band play at the Fontana Bar in the Bellagio. A $14 cocktail later, we enjoyed a great band. They need the high price drinks to pay for 8 professional musicians. It was a great cocktail...
• Sign up for the players' club at any casino and you get some form of free slot play deal. The worst is at Hooters -- you get to run $100 through ten $10 spins at dedicated never-win slots. Plus the staff are rude. The best were the ones where you get your card and can play the free cash on any machine, once you'd bet some of your own.

Especially un-free was sitting. You want to rest your dogs? You gotta pay. Drink, eat, play slots...you sit, it costs. I saw a couple of benches here and there, and the Bellagio has the only lobby with seating that I remember, but otherwise, nothing.

But some of the so-called free stuff was amusing. For example, we joyfully sucked in to a 2 or 3-hour presentation & hard sell for a time share to get $125...which extended our eating out budget quite nicely.

Besides the no-place-to-sit problem, and the constant temptation to drink, some activities were fun and free:

Ah. Fremont Street. I truly did not know about the fabulous hourly shows. My man set me up for that. Thank you, honey. The lions at the MGM.

The shows at Circus Circus. Everyone once in awhile, it's good to see a clown. Especially one that isn't too creepy. [On a side note, we stayed at Circus Circus because it had great room deals. And I spent time in a carnival, not to mention I appreciate the absurd, so it seemed well-suited. No cable TV in the rooms...only 3 regular English stations, 3 Spanish stations, and Clown TV -- a bunch of clowns running around Circus Circus doing stuff...weird and, uh, not-wonderful!]


Yes, then the usual. The Bellagio fountain:By the time we caught the Deuce that night, we'd seen the fountain run 5 or 6 times. Not sure why the bus was late, but it arrived with some poor girl puking out the door. [I say 'poor girl' not because I have any sympathy for someone who drinks to that point, but because her 'friend' was filming the whole thing.]

The Mirage volcano:


I think the best free stuff was the people watching. The random brides doing the things we were all doing, like signing up for a players' club (here at Binion's, to get her picture taken with the $1,000,000):
And the best moment, was finding this lovely cowfish swimming gleefully around a big aquarium at Caesar's Palace:Please share with me your favourite things to do in Vegas. I'm sure I'll be going back to that 24-hour amusement park someday in the not-too-distant-future, because it isn't really travel, it's just joining the party!

Lori

Another great yarn...

Awhile back, I posted about the fabulous tale that I was regaled when I asked my question "What's your story?"

Today, I wandered over to Sixteen Tons which I do periodically to see what's new in her world, and was floored with the story that greeted me, entitled Reptile Love. As anyone who reads my blog knows, I revel in the absurd and unexpected. This yarn is well-told, includes a bit of political intrigue, flirtation and...well, just see for yourself:

"I began to get a little nervous. The guy was mercurial enough already and he didn’t need some Parks functionary irresponsibly inflaming him with the spectacle of turtle hard-ons. The acquaintance sounded like it was prospering in a strange way..."

Nicely written, sledpress. Thank you for this.

Does anyone else have any great stories out there? Tell on!

Lori

Suicide - an absurd death of potential

Today is a sad day for my sister's family... a long-time friend is being buried today. He was my nephew's first camp counselor, was close to all three of my nephews, and had been involved with their church community for years. He took his life last week -- he was 26.

A month or so before, the brother of my other nephew's girlfriend also committed suicide. This nephew is 15 and is now having to deal with two unexplained deaths in almost the same number of months.

The worst pain for those left behind must be "Why didn't I see?" The 15-year-old above is, his mother tells me, obsessively reading the texts he received from the young man hours before he took his life. This makes my heart break...how will my nephew(s) recover from this?

I'm sure they will.

Or will they? I think part of the problem is that we, the people around a potential suicide, don't believe it can happen in our worlds. Suicide is so distant from our own thoughts, how can it be present in someone close to us?

At work, we have a philosophy: "Err on the side of the client." Or in the case of suicide, if you think someone might be considering it, better to assume the potential is real than to assume it couldn't possibly happen.

Dealing with their own loss, our beloved Chekov, Walter Koenig, and his wife send out a similar appeal to those with depression or depressed family members (via Raincoaster):


Thank you for sharing.

And if you've landed here after searching 'suicide'...please listen to one more person say "Seriously, it will get better."

Lori

Little Known Facts about Canada

When I taught ESL, if we got on the topic of the geography of Canada, I used to love telling them my favourite bit of info: that France is one of our closest neighbours.

Voilà! Saint-Pierre and Miquelon:


I've never been there. Have any of my Canadian readers? (Went to the official website, and it seems they require a passport to visit.)

So, last month, I was at a Rita MacNeil concert with my mom and her friend, a very funny sweet man with strawberry blond hair...born in an Icelandic enclave in Canada. Who knew that a New Iceland Colony existed on the shores of Lake Winnipeg? I didn't, and I thought I knew quite a bit about my country.

Has anyone else been surprised by this kind of tidbit? Tell me about it!

Lori

Where the line?

Have I created a busy life for myself, or am I engendering chaos?

My day-to-day work is stressful and full...and I often spend the day on the computer, wrenching my brain around concepts, rationales, and budgets.

In my private life

• I bowl on Wednesdays. **Update 2** I'm dedicated to finding us a sponsor for t-shirts this year!
  
• I chair a Board of Directors of the best event in town, the Okanagan International Children's Festival.
• I'm a member of the Board of the networking organization Penticton Women in Business.
• I'm going to be directing a short, one-act play for performance the first week of December.
• I'm helping to organize a local congregation's annual Walk to Bethlehem (a 3-day re-imagining of life in the Ancient Near East, complete with children's pageants and anachronisms).
• I periodically write book reviews.
• I (try to) have a social life.
• I'm presenting at BookCamp Vancouver on Friday.
• Oh, and I'm married, and trying to have a relationship that's more than coffee in the morning.
  

Where can I draw the line? What do I prioritize?

Then there are the things that I want to find time to do:

• Work on my book idea with my buddy who lives in Korea.
• Start work on a MBA.
• Catalogue my movies.
• Spend more time studying French.
• Blog more often.
• **Updated** Organize my photos, make albums even.
• **Updated** Learn to use Photoshop.
• **Update 2** I want to get a conversation salon started in town.
  

It has been an amazing Thanksgiving weekend, where my absolutely perfect turkey was consumed by a small group of close friends. I am grateful for the activities in my life, but I do wonder if I should pare them down.

I would welcome your thoughts and suggestions.

Lori

Cheating or Convenience?

Through the wonders of a Flickr-friend's holiday pictures, I've had an Aha! moment.

I must admit, this picture did not surprise me, instead it made me think: "Of course!!"


Of course there are professional teepee-makers. Why wouldn't there be?

My meeting-addled brain can't think of any parallels in other cultures at the moment...Please help below in the comments!

Lori

Random Questions

...arising from a roadtrip.

In this day'n'age, with the Internet always so there, able to be referenced at a moment's notice, you feel its absence when on the road, in a car. (No, I don't have an iPhone/Blackberry/what-have-you to do this on the road...plus we were traveling in areas without service!)

On our last road trip (this last weekend actually, the pictures are here), Metro and I had a number of questions/speculations. This time, we wrote them down. And now, I'm going to share them with you, because perhaps you'll enjoy them too.

Some were generated purely from the geography:

• Anarchist Mountain in BC's Boundary Country...were there really anarchists there? What's the story?
• Boundary Creek Provincial Park in Greenwood. Check it out. Looks nice.
• Why is the town of Salmo called Salmo? Was there a Mr. Salmo? What did he do?

Some were generated from roadside observations:

• No Tresspassing signs -- does putting one up an prerequisite for being able to actually shoo people from your land? If you don't have one up, can you still oust people you don't want?
• Roadside crosses -- there was an anthropological study done on these (at least one). Look it up. What a weird phenomenon. When/Where did the practice start?
• Fudge as a tourist attraction -- This one has always bothered me. Hell's Gate for years had nothing to do once you got over to the other side other than to buy and eat fudge. Is this just a Canadian tourist stop/trap phenomenon, or do other countries subject their tourists to it as well?

Others just arose from the depth of (mostly) Metro's brain:

• Are there such things as grasshopper breeders?
• What is the difference between an alpaca and a llama?
• What is the story behind the zuccamelon again?

More questions came up, but not when we had paper and pen available. C'est la vie!

We've not gotten around to looking any of these up, so feel free to offer up any resources. Or regale us with your own questions that niggle...

Lori

"Horseshoe Crabs Pile Up For Night Of Whoopee"

Well done, NPR! That's an enticing headline....

All Things Considered has this story today:

On the Delaware Bay shore, there's a swinging party that's been taking place for millions of years.

Those female crabs have this one night a year to, well, be mounted by up to 13 males:

If you're a female horseshoe crab, then it's your night. You'll swim to shore, meet a special someone and he'll clasp onto the back of your shell. You and he will crawl onto the beach together, where you'll spawn at high tide under the light of the full moon.

But the mate attached to your shell is not your only tryst. On this night, you will mate with up to 13 males, all at the same time. Thousands of horseshoe crabs will pile on top of one another, glistening shells covering the beach for miles.

Wow. The mind boggles.

Lori

Where, oh where, has credibility gone?!?

I apologize off the bat for the extraneous punctuation in the above sentence, but I'm trying to express my absolute disillusionment with...how shall I put this?

I'm disillusioned with the people in my workplace whose role it is to guide me...the people who are paid the big bucks to know more than I do. Do I covet their jobs? Good question. Up until today, not really. Oh, down the road maybe, but I'm happy with my responsibility load.

After today, I know I'll be applying to join their ranks the first chance I get.

"But," I hear you ask, "What happened today that changed your mind?"

One word, a neologism of this new Internet age actually, tucked glaringly in a sentence of official government guidance for me to refer to in my day-to-day work: "According to Wikipedia..."

Wikipedia!?!

Since when does a person who is paid to be a credible source of government policy guidance turn to Wikipedia for a definition of a word?

This is wrong in so many ways, I don't know where to begin...except to want to shout "Buy a dictionary!"

In frustration,

Lori

Cancer + Gambling = Feel Good Story

Okay, this does not happen every day:

A Buckinghamshire man diagnosed with terminal cancer is to collect a second winning payout of £5,000 after betting he would stay alive. (BBC News)

I don't really approve of gambling...and I sure as shootin' don't believe in cancer, but the two combined can make a great story.

As the spokesperson from the betting agents points out: "Never in 30 years in the business have I been so pleased to pay a winning client £10,000."

Jon, I hope you make it to next year, and your £100,000 payout.

Lori

Ah, the movies...

I follow a really great online comic strip, Multiplex -- about a group of people who work at a, you guessed it, Multiplex theatre. It's part geek tribute to great films, part on-going 20-something soap opera...usually amusing.

Today's strip just made me laugh aloud. Back story -- the characters always dress up as the characters of newly-opened, big films, like Watchmen.

(Click on the image to see it better.)

I love the look on the long-suffering supervisor's face. Take a look at the previous strip to understand just why he's so long-suffering this week.

And if you haven't seen Watchmen, go watch it. Yes, the book is better, as it always is, but the director was slavishly devoted to the look, the tone and the feel of the source material.

Ask me nice, I may lend you the graphic novel.

Lori

Book Mayhem

I'm torn...I'm appalled to see this happen to books, but also envious, wishing I could stop by for a rummage:

Thousands in scramble for free books after Amazon supplier abandons warehouse

The warehouse, whose lease recently ran out, once contained as many as five million books destined to be sold online.

After the lease expired, he firm running the secondhand book business moved out, leaving it full of books.

Managers of the industrial estate invited people to help themselves so they can free up space at the site.

Do I wish I could be involved in this feeding frenzy? Of course. Would I still be appalled at the cavalier treatment of the books if I were there? Probably not. I'd be hunting for my own treasures.

Ah well. It's too bad I can't join the madness, but I'm sure my husband is pleased!

Lori

Social Media Cat

more animals

This is how I feel sometimes when I'm on Twitter or Facebook.

That's when I know I need to go for a walk.

Lori

Periodic Table of Geek Awesomeness

From Geekologie -- the Periodic Table of Awesoments (as seen by geeks, of which I do claim some allegiance):
(Click on the link above for the full-sized version...and enjoy!)

You'll note that pretty much everything that is great is on the table, with spaces of course for the elements that are yet to be (or be recognized!).

Yours in geekdom,

Lori

You Can Shave the Baby

I wish I could un-see this:

(Source)

Sorry to do that to you.

Lori

Zombies in Austen?

I can't tell if this is a gag, or a real book....so it's here, instead of on my book blog...

From Chronicle Books, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies:

As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead.

Uh...Okay.

I feel gullible tonight. Maybe I should just go to bed. This will all make sense in the morning.

Right?

Lori

"I'm a Liver, not a Fighter"

Found this absurdity over at Rain's other blog Teenie Manolo, in a post entitled Ovaries of Danger.

Follow the links, to find this adorable little guy:
What every little kid needs, a stuffed liver to play with.

Unfortunately, the Uterus is not so lucky:

The irony of course is that probably many women would love to have their uteruses (? uteri!) recalled...while others would love to have one to play with.

But kids? Who'd have thought internal organ plush dolls be a desirable toy?

Ah well. I've had deeper thoughts on a Sunday morning before, that's for sure!

Lori

Tempus fugit...or shreds?

The Chrono-Shredder (discover via this blog) a very cool clock...if a bit of a fire hazard:

Designer Susan Hertrich describes her clock:

The Chrono-Shredder is a device that reminds us of the preciousness of our lifetime. It represents the passing of time by shredding the days of the year – printed on a paper roll – at a slow constant rate. To shred one day takes 24 hours. There is no "off"-button. As the seconds pass by, the tattered remains of the past pile up under the device…

Imagine waking up in the morning with an enormous pile of shreddies (as my hubby calls them) on the floor...would you, as the designer asks, start counting the finite hours of your day like calories?

Lori

A bit late, but the absurd is eternal

A belated bit of Christmas cheer via microwaves:

Happy Christmas from AKQA

What inspires people to spend so much time on silly projects like this?

Lori

Linguistics -- Funny Stuff

So many English gags depend on the difficulty speakers of other languages have with our language. Part of that is that so many people, from so many countries, study English -- so we have a lot of different accents to make fun of. (But trust me, English speakers are not alone -- every language is made a butt of some joke, somewhere.)

The fact that speakers of many Asian languages cannot wrap their lips around the English liquids /r/ and /l/ is probably the most demonized of any pronunciation problem. I did my BA in Linguistics and taught English as a Second Language for 12 years, 3 of those in Korea, so pronunciation is one of my interests.

Simply put, English /r/ and /l/ are two completely different phonemes -- two distinct sounds. In languages like Korean, what we hear as /r/ and /l/ are allophones of the same phoneme -- essentially the same sound, used in slightly different ways. To a Korean ear, 'pirate' and 'pilot' are the exact same word. Korean has its own complexities, and if more non-native speakers learned it, there would be (and probably are) loads of gags about how we pronounce their language. Hell, they have 3 completely different phonemes for where we would have the /p/ and /b/. [Fascinating stuff.]

All of that said, one of the funniest (and poignant) elements in the movie Team America: World Police (2004) is the characterization of Kim Jong Il of North Korea, especially his song, "I'm So Ronery":



I saw the movie for the first time this week, and had to watch it again last night 'cause it was haunting me a bit.

Imagine my surprise when this morning in my inb0x is a video of a Korean toddler singing "Hey Jude":



So cute, my teeth are melting.

Have a pun day! (Koreans also do not have the phonemes /f/ and /v/, they use sounds similar to our /p/ and /b/ instead.)

Lori