Thursday, December 28, 2006

Me, and Cat Pee

I've spent the day in "cat pee watch" -- and I must say, I've had better ones.

As any cat owner will tell you, cats are brilliantly easy to litter box train:
  1. take kitten's little paws in your hands
  2. scratch said paws in the litter
  3. go make a cup of tea and get back to your book
My lovely cat, Nabi, has been spraying, or as we say around the house, "The bloody cat's pissed in the corner again!"
We thought it was the other cat, and she was just discovering it and scratching ("Females don't spray!"). Then, when we figured out it was her, we assumed it was stress. (You'd be surprised how many hits you get for "cat peeing in house" (and variations) on Google.) Cats will pee in places other than their cat box for behavioural reasons (can they see another cat outside? is it a new house? did you move the furniture in some drastic way? Etc. Etc.).

But they will also do it for medical in urinary infections, or just kitty trying to say "Hey! I don't feel well!"

So I took her to the vet today. We had a 10:20 appointment. Neither the vet nor the technician could touch my princess-turned-Hyde cat.

The vet needs a urine sample...Option #1: hold cat down on back and put needle into bladder -- while disconcerting, it is supposedly not painful -- but no one would come out of that without blood being shed. Option #2: leave cat in kennel at vet's -- but many an obstinate cat has held back until bursting in lieu of peeing on demand. Option #3: take cat home, keep in one room with a separate cat box (with little glass beads to scratch, that won't soak up the 'sample').

That damn cat stayed in the bedroom with this other cat box, a bowl of water, and a dish of tuna all damn day. Did she pee on the floor? No. On the wall? No. In the cat box? Of course not. I gave her catnip. I pet her. She was in the bedroom, normally her favourite room. At 9 p.m., we thought she'd have to be bursting. So we move the special box downstairs, to her 'normal' spot, and let her out...she made her way down...and peed against a wall and on the carpet! A full 75% of the house is laminate or linoleum, where I could have collected the sample.

Instead, I was on my hands and knees, with a j-cloth, sopping cat piss up out of the damn carpet and wringing it out into a small jam jar.

[insert expletive]

Hope the sample is enough. I'll try again tomorrow morning.



PJ said...

Oh joy! Just how you want to spend a relaxing between-Christmas-and-New-Year's afternoon.

raincoaster said...

Poor you and poor Nabi. That doesn't sound like her at all. Too bad I am not there; seriously, I'm a dab hand at pinning a cat down. They don't like it, but I have gotten the odd awestruck "Wow!" from a grateful vet.

If you want to practice on Cinnamon, you do it this way:

grab the two back feet with your left hand, a finger or two in between them, the two front feet with your right thumb and first two fingers of your right hand, then put your right pinky behind the cat's neck. This basically means the cat can wiggle its hips and make siren noises, but that's about it. Good luck: she will never forgive you.

Alternately, you could lock her in her LEAST favorite room in the house, accompanied only by the litterbox. She may pee to spite you.

raincoaster said...

Oh yes, there's a Kiwi wine called Cat Pee on a Gooseberry Bush; it's not all that and a bag of chips, but it may be appropriate once you get this problem solved.

Metro said...

Y'know, RC. I will personally buy you half a bus ticket and a bottle of cheap plonk in order to see you pin the cat.

However, I would suggest you start saving up now for the bandages you'll need. They're $5 per metre here.

And if you can't do it, I don't buy you a damn thing. Are we on?

raincoaster said...

We're SO on. There are two cats here: shall I use them and send you photos, or do we have to wait and do the match on Nabi herself? Ready when you are.

Lori said...

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Come one, come all to the event of the Century! The Mistress of Dampness takes on the One, the Only, Feline Hyde -- princess puss by day, demon spawn at the Vet. See Raincoaster attempt to subdue & hogtie this cat-from-hell."

Tickets $20.

raincoaster said...

It's ON, bitches!

azahar said...

Perhaps you could try this? It looks easy enough but maybe there's a good reason that they are using a dog in the photos.

How To Express A Cat.

Lori said...

Azahar...thanks for that link, it's interesting. Pretty serious stuff, if your pet is 'impaired' (as they put it)...but mighty funny if you try to imagine them doing that to a hell-cat.

(You live in Spain?!? How cool!)

raincoaster said...

What is UP with that Chihuahua? It looks like it was stitched together from two different dogs right behind the shoulders. And it must be said they all look terribly embarrassed.

Is this what Madonna meant when she recorded "Express yourself?" I've seen the video, and she does do some of those hand placements.

azahar said...

"And it must be said they all look terribly embarrassed."

Well, wouldn't you? Though I agree it's a rather odd looking dog.

Once a vet got a pee sample by doing this to one of my cats - seemed easy enough at the time.

Mine tend to be more stroppy at home - once I manage to get them to the vet's they go all floppy and can't wait to get back into the cage it took me half an hour to get them into. Well, they wouldn't be cats otherwise, would they?

Yep, living in Spain. Beats the hell out of Winnipeg!

Lori said...

Ah, a Winterpegian! That said, I have heard great things about the city's community spirit...

The pee sample dredged from the carpet was no good. The extra pee sample I picked up on Saturday morning (Metro downstairs yelling, "Bring the syringe! She peed by the dryer!") and kept in the fridge is too old, says the vet.

Now, of course, she's not peeing...extracurricularly at the moment. At least, no place that I can find! Or in an amount I can use...the mere dribble by the CD stand wasn't enough, and anyway, I hadn't talked to the vet yet, when I cleaned that up.

Cross your fingers.

(The mind reels.)

azahar said...

What's the latest?

And if you want to, please pop over to my post about a weirdo cat problem I've been having lately. Could use a bit of advice...

azahar said...

What happened?