Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Back to the absurdities...

...and there are lots when you are a homeowner.

For example, last night, Metro picked up some ant traps at that most fabulous of fabulous retail establishments, Canadian Tire. Now, I before I put down poison I don't need, I will try my method: scrub their chemical trail with my own chemical cleaners, then sprinkle some chili powder in the area.

Anyway, I wish I had my scanner set up, because this ant trap package says, no lie, "May contain peanuts." It's ant poison. If your kid picks it up and ingests some of it, wouldn't you have other worries than the possibilities of peanuts?!? Plus, who cares if the ants have nut allergies -- you're trying to kill them!

Speaking of allergies, I'm glad I'm not allergic to anything -- Yesterday, an angry wasp stung me twice on the arm...damn! that hurt! Luckily, raincoaster was on the scene and used the wisdom gleaned from some obscure Viggo film to rescue me: ice to freeze the venom (0r whatever it is they have) in place, then a paste of baking soda and water to draw it out.

Oh yeah, we bought some wasp traps as well!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great, so now we shall live in a house which smells like a taco with sneezing cats?

What exactly is wrong with a healthy dose of poison in the appropriate place?

One might say that too little poison has been more of a problem than too much. Consider Rasputin, Viktor Yanukovich, and George Bush Jr. just to name a few.

Metro

Metro said...

I'm so sorry, darling. I didn't mean it. Why do my tacos smell like almonds?

raincoaster said...

Don't ask her...ask me.

Lori said...

raincoaster, behave!

a h m a d said...

Hilarious! I think the ants now will die with a tasty poision.

Metro said...

For the record:

Number of traps down, zero:

Saturday night the back door was covered in ants. They trundled across the floor in their anty ways, unhindered.

Sunday morning: 3 traps down. Not a creature is stirring. Not even an ant.

I guess they were allergic to peanuts.