Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Will my job be this fun?

If this is legit, then the staff at the Smithsonian are having far too much fun:
We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago. Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety that one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be "Malibu Barbie."
It gets better:
3. The dentition pattern evident on the skull is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time.
and:
We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it.
Now they're just teasing the poor guy:
We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.
I'll probably run into all sorts of interesting, fun stuff...but I think I won't be blogging about work -- I'll probably have to sign a statement to that effect.

Lori

2 comments:

PJ said...

Oh, I love that letter! It was one of the first things I found when I got online back in 1997. "Australopithecus Spiffarino". I love this: "You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your back yard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it."

Metro said...

You philistines. Even when confronted with evidence of Intelligent Design you refuse to release yourselves from the deterministic dogma of Darwinism!

Clearly the hand of Go--sorry--some intelligent being is at work. How do you imagine the wrench came to be in a dinosaur's thigh, huh?

And don't go positing that old line about Pleosticine mechanics fighting off an attack--it's your lot that claims dinosaurs and humans didn't co-exist.